I'll Never Desert You: The Vows

Mr. C and I had a non-religious ceremony full of personal touches and of course, lots of love. After our vows I don't think there was a dry eye in the house, myself and Mr. C included! We had so many guests tell us that it was one of the most emotional and touching ceremonies they had ever witnessed, which is always a great thing to hear when you have some unconventionally written vows and no mention of God.

You'll notice that there are a lot of images of people smiling and laughing. I love this about our ceremony. It wasn't all serious, and I think that's an accurate reflection of the relationship that Mr. C and I share. We are silly, we joke around a lot--maybe too much! We don't like to keep things formal, so I am so happy and proud to see that our personalities were so perfectly incorporated into our ceremony.

It was a brilliant spring evening in May. The sun shining through the pecan tree leaves, dappling the ground around us in dancing shadows. There was a serene, magical quality to this evening -- warm and joyous. The love and support of our guests was palpable. I glanced out past Mr. C to catch the gaze of my brother who gave me a reassuring wink. I looked out over our guests, I saw smiles, I saw couples holding hands. I had to compose myself and remind myself to remain in the moment. It was time for the ceremony to resume after our reading from The Little Prince.




Todd (our Officiant): 

Eight years ago I met a shaggy haired guy who had many of the same interests as me. As a result, we quickly became fast friends and professional colleagues. We taught together, went to watch bands play, and mountain biked countless miles of trails in the beautiful woods of the Southeast.

As much fun as we had together, there was always something missing from Gavin’s life – a female companion, a better half. It’s not that Gavin didn't date or that girls weren't interested in him. The problem always seemed to be that none of them “completed” him.

Of course, that’s were Erin enters the picture. I can’t claim that I know Erin as well as I do Gavin, but I do know that she understands Gavin; appreciates him for all that he is, and shares even more of the same interests with Gavin than any of his other friends share. And of all the things they share, it is their love that brings us all here together today.

Erin and Gavin, this is the time you have chosen to become husband and wife; to proclaim your love for one another in the presence of family and friends.

The gift of love you share and receive today surrounds you, supports you, and makes you whole. This is as it should be. Real love is not total absorption in each other; it is looking outward in the same direction –together. It’s the confirmation you see in each other’s eyes.

It’s deciding to be best friends forever and each other’s greatest companions. It’s knowing that your greatest confidant and provider of security, peace, contentment, and true unconditional love is the one standing in front of you now.

Erin and Gavin, love can be one of the highest experiences that comes to humankind. It reduces our selfishness, enriches our personalities, and makes our lives far more meaningful. By its very nature it makes one want to give to another, and to feel joy in the joy of that other. Such love can call forth the best qualities in each of you.

Love makes burdens lighter, because you divide them. It makes joys more intense because you share them. It transforms a road trip to Tennessee into the lifelong story of companionship and family. It makes you stronger, so you can become involved with life in ways you dared not risk alone.

Over the years you will learn that what defines your love today will change. You too will change. Thus, this ceremony is the celebration of a single stage in a much larger process that is the love between husband and wife. It is an outward sign of a sacred commitment to love each other through the happy times and the sad, the smooth times and the rough.

The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union. As the years pass the ties will be tried. Call back upon this day and remember the love that you declared to one another. In this way you will re-marry one another each and every day by making a mutual commitment to love each other, and to work towards creating an atmosphere of care, consideration, and respect for one another.

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited, it is never rude or selfish, it does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's faults, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope. It is always ready to endure whatever comes. True love does not come to an end.)

And now for the big moment, that moment that you work and toil towards as you plan your wedding, as you reflect on your relationship and all of the amazing (and not so amazing) things that have happened in your life to bring you to this place. That moment where you try to package all of your experiences and emotions into words that, no matter how hard  you try, never seem to adequately reflect how you really feel.

Todd:

Having already declared your love for one another privately, it is now time for you to proclaim your love for all to hear.  

Gavin, will you please share the vows you wrote for Erin?

Mr. Camel: 

Erin, I can still remember the first time I saw you and the way my heart fluttered when I noticed you walking down the hallway.  I remember trying to think of something to say to you.  Unfortunately I was speechless.  When I proposed to you I sobbed out the words through tears of joy.  Luckily, today I get another chance to say the words that have been on my mind since the day I first saw you.

I love you for your beauty, your sense of humor, and your kindness.

I cannot even begin to count the ways in which you make me a better person or the ways in which the two of us make a better team than either of us would be on our own.

Though I’m not always perfect and our life will not be without its trials and tribulations, on this day I vow to give you my heart for always and forever.

I pledge my eternal love and faithfulness.

I promise to be supportive of all your dreams and aspirations, because they have become mine too.

You make me feel special and unique so above all of my other vows, I promise to never forget how lucky I am to have someone like you who makes me feel this way.  Most of all I promise to make you feel as special as you make me feel.

Wherever life’s roads take us I know that I only want to travel them at your side. 

I love you Erin.  Always and forever.

At this point, I was so glad I have that vintage handkerchief wrapped around my bouquet -- because I needed it!

Todd:

Erin, will you please respond with the vows you wrote for Gavin?

Me:

Friends and family, I think you should know a few things about Gavin. I knew Gavin was handsome the moment I first saw him on the social studies hallway four years ago. I knew I had a crush on him a few days after we started working together. I knew I had a BIG crush on him when he drooled on himself as he laughed uncontrollably while trying to explain an internet joke to me in the teacher workroom. But most importantly, I knew Gavin and I would get married only two days into our relationship. It was a calm and certain knowing, as if the chaos of life had suddenly settled peacefully into place. Being together was easy as breathing (and it still is). When you find something that unique in this world, you don’t let it go.

Gavin, you are the kindest, most compassionate and hardworking person I know. You are a friend to everyone you meet. Your big heart knows no bounds and the fact you wear your heart on your sleeve only makes you more endearing. You have the patience of a saint, the gentleness of an elementary school teacher. For all of these reasons and more, you encourage me to be a better version of myself each and every day. You magnify my inherent playfulness.  You extinguish my frustrations.  You are always interested in my many schemes. You encourage me when I feel defeated by the world. You lift me up out of the darkness. You nourish and embrace my soul. You make any place feel like home. And somehow, you still manage to love me for exactly who I am, which I know is no easy feat. Thank you for loving me unconditionally, thank you for staying by my side, thank you for always finding the good in everything. You are undeniably my better half.

Gavin, from now until our last days, I vow to be your best friend. I vow to love you, even when times are tough. I vow to use my inappropriate sense of humor to wash away your sorrow. I vow to stay up late making DragonCon costumes with you. I vow to tolerate your Gollum impressions. I vow to wake you up at 1:00 am with quotes from the Neverending Story. I vow to quell your worries. I vow to always encourage you, to support you, to be the place you can rest your heart. Every hour, every week, and every year of my wait to meet you has been worth it for this adventure that we are about to start. I love you with all my heart and soul.

And just like that, this intensely personal moment that we shared with our friends and family was over. It was then time to exchange rings and share our first kiss as husband and wife! 

Previously on the Camel Wedding Recaps: 

1) Getting Dressed & Exchanging Gifts

2) Putting on the White Dress

3) Our First Look

4) The Ceremony Begins

5) The Reading 

I'll Never Desert You: The Reading

In the spring of 2010 I was a long-term substitute in the English department of the school where I am currently employed. I landed the job because the English department chair called me the moment she knew one of the English teachers might be leaving mid-year. She knew that I had subbed in the school in the past, that I had a Master's degree in education, and that I was desperately looking for work. She even called me despite the fact I was not (at the time) certified to teach English.

Thus began my official teaching career. Ms. Tatum, the English department chair, offered me a plethora of advice and wisdom stemming from her 25 plus years of experience as an educator. She helped me survive that very rough semester and even gave me hope that I would be back the following school year as a full-fledged faculty member. The long-term sub job helped me build my reputation within the school which did eventually led to a full-time position in the social studies department the following school year. And that is where I met Mr. C. Our classrooms were right next to each other. We both taught economics. He was funny, kind, dorky, and compassionate and before I knew it, I had a big crush on him. You can read more about how we met here and here.

As you can imagine, Mrs. Tatum, beyond being an amazing and incredibly patient mentor, also played a pivotal role in my relationship with Mr. C. If it weren't for her advocacy when I was given the long-term substitute job, I really don't know if I would have ever gotten my foot in the door at my current school. It was the height of teacher layoffs and budget cuts, so teachers everywhere were losing their jobs. Since then, Mr. C and I have have "adopted" Mrs. Tatum's awesome 19-year-old son. We took him to DragonCon a few years ago, Mr. C plays card games and war games with him, and we pay him to watch our cats when we are out of town. We've enjoyed having Mrs. Tatum and her family in our lives, so when it came time to choose a reader for our wedding ceremony, her name was the first one that popped in my head -- hands down, no contest!

All photographs are by Christopher Helm Photography. The venue is Cloverleaf Farms just outside of Athens, Georgia.

I wrote an entry a while back about using a passage from Antoine de Saint-Exupery's The Little Prince as a reading during our wedding ceremony. Well, we went ahead with it and everyone seemed to love it! Actually, one of our co-workers gifted us two Little Prince cups that once belonged to her mother. She told us that The Little Prince was her parent's favorite book, so much so that her mother asked for a quote from the book to be engraved on her gravestone. Obviously hearing this passage read at our wedding had our coworker in tears as it already held so much personal significance. Stories like this just warmed our hearts and assured us that we made the right choice in our ceremony reading.

Mrs. Tatum did an incredible job reading. She has a clear and gentle voice (must be all those years of teaching English) that lend themselves perfectly to such a task. And for the curious, here is the somewhat abridged passage from The Little Prince that was read at our wedding:

“Who are you?” asked the little prince, “You are very pretty to look at.”

“I am a fox,” the fox said.

“Come and play with me,” proposed the little prince. “I am so unhappy.”

“I cannot play with you,” the fox said. “I am not tamed.”

“Ah! Please excuse me,” said the little prince.

But, after some thought, he added: “What does that mean—’tame’?”

“You do not live here,” said the fox. “What is it that you are looking for?”

“I am looking for men,” said the little prince. “What does that mean—’tame’?

“It is an act too often neglected,” said the fox. “It means to establish ties.”

“’To establish ties’?”

“Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world …”

“…If you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…”

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.

“Please—tame me!” he said.

“I want to, very much,” the little prince replied. “But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand.”

“One only understands the things that one tames,” said the fox. “Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me…”

“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.

“You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down at a little distance from me—like that—in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day…”

The next day the little prince came back.

“It would have been better to come back at the same hour,” said the fox. “If, for example, you come at four o’clock in the afternoon, then at three o’clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o’clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you… One must observe the proper rites…”

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near—

“Ah,” said the fox, “I shall cry.”

“It is your own fault,” said the little prince. “I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you…”

“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.

“But now you are going to cry!” said the little prince.

“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.

“Then it has done you no good at all!”

“It has done me good,” said the fox, “because of the color of the wheat fields.”

“Goodbye,” he said.

“Goodbye,” said the fox. “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

“What is essential is invisible to the eye,” the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

Previously on the Camel Wedding Recaps: 

1) Getting Dressed & Exchanging Gifts

2) Putting on the White Dress

3) Our First Look

4) The Ceremony Begins