Post Wedding Emotions

Just before getting married, I wrote an entry about life after the wedding. I wasn't sure where I would be emotionally after the wedding was over. The idea is that you spend weeks, months, sometimes even years preparing for an event that is over in a single day. Emotionally, it places a lot of pressure on the bride and groom. I felt that I was highly susceptible to experiencing post-wedding depression for a number of reasons, but namely because the wedding was a distraction from my stressful job, an excuse to stay in touch with long-distance friends and family, and a great creative motivator. As of May 26th, all of the crafting, socializing, and planning has come to a screeching halt.

I won't lie, the day after our wedding was pretty rough. Not only did we watch as all of our out-of-town family and friends left, but we also returned to our apartment to find the sad remnants of our special day. After the wedding my family was tasked with clearing all of our belongings out of the venue. Everything was loaded up and dropped off at our apartment while Mr. C and I were at a hotel in downtown Athens. There were boxes of milk glass, a trash bag full of our beautiful centerpiece flowers, unopened wedding gifts and cards, a bag of uneaten macarons. There was barely any space to move around our living room! So we sat down and started to clear it out. We broke down boxes, we tossed out the flowers, we boxed up the milk glass that I spent over a year collecting. It was hard and there were definitely tears from both of us. The worst part is when we opened our photo guestbook for the first time. There were so many great photos and sweet messages. Seeing the photos of guests who only hours earlier had been in our presence totally opened the floodgates. We were both a total mess for most of the day. You see, the major bulk of both of our families lives hours away from us. It was such a treat to have our family all together for the weekend, to watch our family interact with our coworkers and friends. It was hard to see them go and watch life return to normalcy.

Photography by Christopher Helm

This is where I am so very glad that we decided to leave for our honeymoon the day after the wedding. I definitely recommend this if you think you might suffer from post-wedding depression. We had enough time the day after the wedding to see some of our family off, to clean up our apartment, pack a few last minute items, and then make it to the airport just in time for our flight to Paris. But I cried the entire car ride to the airport. In fact, Mr. C had to stop for gas and I had to go into the gas station to buy tissues. I was a hot mess! My head was reeling with so many emotions: the vows, spending time with my dad, seeing my mom and dad chatting together for the first time in 15 years, the total outpouring of love we experienced. But as soon as we were on the plane, it all melted away. We were about to go on a great adventure and see Paris and Malta!

Instagram photo by my stepsister.

By the time we returned home from the honeymoon, the post-wedding letdown had run its course. I felt just fine, no post-wedding depression in sight. Even so, there was definitely a feeling of "loss" -- I kept thinking that there was something I should be doing, some wedding task waiting to be completed. Nearly a month later I still feel the same sense of loss, as if something is missing. But that might also come from the fact I'm a teacher on summer vacation and usually I do have a million things (lessons to plan, copies to make, essays to grade, grades to enter, etc) that I should be doing. But you know what? I'm glad it's over. I'm glad the wedding stress is gone. I'm glad I don't have to check The Knot's wedding checklist anymore (and subsequently freak out over the dozens of tasks waiting to be completed). I'm glad the wedding nightmares have ended. I'm glad a portion of my paycheck is no longer being signed away to wedding day details. The wedding was fun, it was amazing, but it's done and I'm ready to move on. Honestly, this response has really surprised me as I thought I would be an emotional wreck. If we hadn't left straight for the honeymoon after the wedding, I think things would have been much different.

Some post-wedding emotions have surprised me though. I've felt some strange pangs of guilt. Guilt about some family and friends I barely spoke to at the reception. Guilt about all the trouble and expense my brother went through to DJ at the wedding reception (even though people tell me he had the time of his life). Guilt about barely being by Mr. C's side during the rehearsal dinner. Guilt about the time and money some of my friends spent to be a part of our wedding. I realize that people do these things because they want to, but I can't help feeling a little guilty. I even felt guilty opening wedding gifts -- what did we do to deserve them? I also feel bummed out by some things that did not go as planned, which I realize is normal. We didn't get to have a sparkler exit (because I was stupid and misplaced the sparklers). I wish our reception had been even one hour longer or we had started the ceremony earlier. There are some photos we just didn't have time to take. But c'est la vie. What can you do but take the good with the bad in stride and keep moving forward?

Some people have asked me if I feel different now that I am married, or if my relationship with Mr. C has changed. Not so much. But there is that feeling of, "Wow, this person has chosen to stick by me for this rest of his life?" That's a powerful and humbling notion. I can't believe someone loves enough to make that commitment, someone who has seen me at my absolute best and my rock-bottom worst. It's empowering, comforting, and strange all at the same time. But I'm so happy and so lucky to call Mr. C my husband.

Overall, I'm very content with life right now. I can finally rest, relax, and recharge. I'm so glad to be married to Mr. C and we are still enjoying our newlywedded bliss. Plus we now we have our professional photos (as you may have noticed above) and we absolutely love them. I can't wait to start my wedding recaps!

What about you? How did you feel when your wedding was over? Were you distressed or relieved? A mix of the two? Did your relationship with your partner change after your marriage?

Honeymoon Part IV: Love in Paris

Mr. C and I spent two weeks abroad on our honeymoon. The first week and a half was spent on the Mediterranean islands of Malta and Gozo. The last portion of our trip was spent in one of our favorite cities in the world, Paris. I realize that it is rather cliche to gush over Paris, but honestly it's a beautiful place teeming with historical significance.

Mr. C and I got engaged in Paris in March of 2012. Actually, it was at Versailles, but we spent a few days in Paris leading up to the engagement. Again, as someone who loves history, Paris is such an awesome place to visit -- so many amazing things to see and do in such close proximity! And who doesn't love the Louvre or walking the gravel paths of the Tuileries Garden, stopping to an espresso or creme brulee at a park cafe? It is a remarkably beautiful city.

While planning our honeymoon, we were aware that there are no direct flights from the U.S. to Malta. This meant we'd need a stopover city in Europe. We first toyed with Rome but we decided to go with Paris as we wanted to spend a few more days in the city and I wanted Mr. C to see what it was like in the summer, rather than early spring before everything is green. So we added a few extra days to the end of our honeymoon where we could bask in the glory, beauty, and history of Paris.

We stayed at Hotel l'Emperor which is directly across from les Invalides, home of the military museum and also the burial site of Napoleon Bonaparte (hence the hotel's name). On our first day we visited the Eiffel Tower and took a long walk down the Champs Elysees. During the summer months it gets dark very late in Paris. I would say the sun would finally set around 10:00 pm. This meant it was almost too easy for time to get away from us and it was always much later in the day than it actually felt. It also meant that even at midnight, the streets were teeming with locals and tourists and dinner was still being served at 10:00 or 11:00 in the evening. I love eating really late dinners, as I'm a bit of a night owl, so I loved this lifestyle! We would sleep in a bit, go out for the day, and have a very late dinner sitting out on the little cafe tables lining the sidewalks where you can sit, talk, and people watch.

Of course Mr. C and I also visited the Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre, Notre Dame, and the Jardin du Luxembourg. We indulged in ice cream at the world famous Maison Berthillon (you MUST try the vanilla and chocolate flavors) as well as macarons at the famous French patisserie, Ladurée. But you guys already knew about my macaron obsession, right? If not you can read all about how we incorporated them into our wedding as favors here!

I may have bought something like four or five boxes of macarons from Ladurée  I think I have a problem. Actually, I know I have a problem. My favorite flavors are orange blossom, vanilla, red fruits, raspberry, and chocolate. I also have a decent collection of Ladurée macaron boxes (around 10-12 different ones) and I really have no way of displaying them. Let me know if you have any suggestions on how I could best display them! 

One of my favorite souvenirs from the trip is Ladurée's book L'esprit décoration Ladurée. It's entirely in French (I can speak and read some French), but the best part is that it comes with an amazing pop-up diorama of various rooms that are all indicative of the styles Ladurée used to decorate their restaurants and shops. There's an amazing little pop-up rococo room, complete with a tiny tower of macarons on a table. I wish I had snapped a photo of it, but you can see pictures of it here. I love it so much and will always treasure it as a reminder of our honeymoon in Paris.

On the last full day of our honeymoon, we made a stop at our favorite place -- Versailles. I love Versailles so much that we even had a Versailles/Marie Antoinette themed wedding! The best part about visiting Versailles was that the fountains were on. This was actually my third time to Versailles but my first time seeing the fountains! They are only turned on on weekends and Tuesdays and public holidays. 

Versailles is the same place where we got engaged, but sadly the Latona Fountain (behind us) was being renovated on our most recent trip, so it was disassembled. 

2012 - Engaged; 2013 - Married! 

Not only were the fountains on, but there were speakers throughout the gardens playing music. Some of the music seemed chosen for the particular mood or theme for each fountain. There are acres of groves and gardens with dozens of different fountains. One of my favorite fountains is Apollo's Grotto which is a giant man-made cave with waterfalls and a statue of Apollo resting as he is attended to by a number of nymphs. On the left and right sides of Apollo his horses (who helped pull his chariot with the sun across the sky) are also being watered and attended to by more nymphs. It's so cool! 

The fountains of Versailles, in all of their majesty! 

If you ever visit Versailles, you have to make sure that you make the 30 minute walk down to the Petit Trianon to see Marie Antoinette's Hamlet (also called the Queen's Hamlet). In order to escape the rigid court life of Versailles, Marie Antoinette had an idyllic country-style village created outside of her small palace, the Petit Trianon. Now tourists can wander through the fairy-like forest paths and overgrown fields dotted with wildflowers to view the quaint country cottages. There is also a working farm on the property which is operated as a living museum with goats, sheep, ducks, geese, and pigs. The little farmhouses have gardens stocked with vegetables and flowers. The entire "village" is centered around a lake which is full of waterlilies -- it's like a living painting! Really, there's no way I could ever properly describe the beauty of this place.

Beautiful, pastoral scenes from Marie Antoinette's Hamlet

The Queen's Hamlet certainly reveals some of the extravagance of the French court during the 18th century. We all know that things did not end well for the French monarchy as Marie Antoinette and her husband Louis XVI were both guillotined during the French Revolution. We actually saw the darker side of Marie Antoinette's life by visiting the Conciergerie, a former royal palace that was later turned into a prison during the revolution. It was where Marie Antoinette spent her last days before being put through a sham of a trial, declared guilty, and executed. It's a sad place, but a place I wanted to visit as it offers a "full circle" perspective of Marie Antoinette's story.

The lavish rooms of Versailles

Meanwhile, back at Versailles, we rented a boat and Mr. C happily paddled me around the Grand Canal. We also rented bikes and road around the canal and saw how many locals come out to the park on a nice day. A large part of the grounds of Versailles are open to the public. There were families picnicking out on the grass, children playing, lovers reading in the shade of the tall trees. I loved renting the boat and bikes, which I recommend if you visit the palace. We also had lunch at a bustling (and large!) restaurant right outside the back gates of Versailles on the shores of the Grand Canal. It was a truly amazing and magical day and a great way to wrap up our honeymoon. We headed back into Paris just as dark rain clouds were congregating on the horizon. We stepped into our hotel lobby the minute the skies opened up!

Unfortunately after our amazing trip to Versailles, the time had come for us to go home. The next day we made the sad trek to Charles de Gaulle airport for a flight back to Atlanta. We had such an amazing, relaxing, and romantic honeymoon. I wouldn't change a thing about it, except maybe staying for another week and visiting Italy and Greece. And now my imagination is already reeling with plans for our next travel destination for next summer. Maybe it will be Argentina, Greece, or Italy! But beyond that, we loved our trip. If you guys have any questions about our honeymoon, please let me know! I'd be happy to help. 

Honeymoon Adventures Part III: The Simple Life on Gozo

We spent the first part of our honeymoon soaking up the history and majesty of the Mediterranean island of Malta. You can read all about it on my previous honeymoon post here. After three days on Malta, it was time for us to take the ferry over to Malt's smaller sister island, Gozo. 

When we arrived at the ferry port in Gozo we had a new friend waiting for us -- Bunty. Bunty is the reason we decided to come to Malta in the first place, an island that we had never even heard of before January of this year. Bunty is the cousin of our co-worker who works as the social studies coach for the school district. We befriended her ages ago but for some reason in January she was working with us one school day morning when we ended up talking about vacation spots. She mentioned that she had family on Malta and thus visited Malta often. Intrigued we asked for more details and she went on and on about how amazing Malta is -- the beaches, the history, the culture -- and how much she loves to visit and how her cousin Bunty rents renovated farmhouses to vacationers. Mr. C and I became even more intrigued. Suddenly plans for spending our honeymoon in Costa Rica were quickly fading into oblivion. We had a complete honeymoon 180 in a matter of minutes. Our co-worker was suddenly e-mailing her cousin asking about her rental properties. In a week or so we had booked Bunty's three bedroom farmhouse on Gozo, complete with a kitchen, living room, wifi, a rooftop terrace, and a private pool.

Bunty was standing outside in the chill air holding a sign with my name on it. We exchanged hugs and gave our sincere thanks for her picking us up at the ferry to take us to the house. Her husband Anton was waiting in the car and they whisked us away to our private farmhouse, built 300 years ago and renovated into quite the cozy and relaxing oasis of tranquility. When Bunty gave us the tour of the house we were flabbergasted! It is an absolutely incredible place. The sandstone walls, roof, and wooden support beams make you feel as if you are stepping into a castle! The entire first floor was once a barn where the animals were kept. The living room has a TV alcove which was originally a manger. There are several holes carved into the stone which were used to tether animals inside the barn. 

When we opened the fridge there was a bottle of champagne, milk, orange juice, strawberries, and two different kinds of dip with crackers waiting for us. Oh, and the absolutely delicious tomato, cheese, olive, and onion plate you see in the photos. There was also a sweet wedding card sitting on the kitchen table. I was again amazed! Bunty and Anton's generosity is certainly something--all of this for complete strangers! I am still brainstorming a way that we can thank them.

After the tour Bunty and Anton dropped us off at the nearest grocery store, a short ten minute walk from the farmhouse. There Gavin and I bought food for dinner (ingredients for homemade spaghetti), snacks, drinks, and breakfast foods. It was nice to stop eating out so much and actually stay in and cook for ourselves! Plus, it saved so much money.The store was very tiny and simple, but well-stocked with necessities.
Finally after arriving back at the farmhouse we were able to sit down and start cooking our spaghetti dinner. We used homegrown garlic so kindly left by the woman who lives next door. After an hour of so of cooking, the spaghetti was ready and it was absolutely delicious -- or maybe it was just the hard work and day's journey put into it that made it taste so good. Then it was time for a good night of sleep in the quiet little (well, not so little -- with three bedrooms and three floors -- four counting the terrace on the roof) farmhouse.

The Azure Window on a windy, rough-seas day.

We returned on a calmer day!

The first thing we did on our first full day on Gozo was visit a very famous place called the Azure Window. It's only a fifteen minute bus ride from the center of the city and it is a truly magnificent marvel of nature -- a huge cliff jutting out into the Mediterranean with a nature "window" cut into the middle. The first day we went, the wind was intense and the sea was slamming against the rocks and the cliffs with foaming curls of the bluest water I've ever seen. The pictures don't even do it justice! Unfortunately this meant that there were no boats you could hire to take you around the cliffs and no swimmers or scuba divers in the area. The air was salted with sea spray and my camera lens was covered in a thin layer of salty water by the end of our visit. This location also makes an appearance in HBO's Game of Thrones during Khal Drogo and Daenerys' wedding. Usually you can take boats through the natural tunnel and out into the open sea, but because of  the wind and waves, it was not possible during our first visit.

We returned to the Azure Window a few days later, this time on a calm day and were able to take a hired boat out through the inland sea and around the cliffs. The water was so beautiful -- clear, deep, and such an intense shade of blue. We also tried to go swimming out by the cliffs but the water had a really intense pull that made us a little afraid to get in. We did get our feet wet though, and put on goggles long enough to see some fish underwater. Then I saw a jelly fish and I didn't want to be in the water anymore!

We had lunch back on the shore where we ordered a tuna salad and the mixed fresh seafood plate. Both were amazing! The mixed seafood plate had squid, octopus, two different types of clams, mussels, king prawns, and shrimp all cooked in a garlicky white wine sauce with some tomatoes and lemon. It was exactly what I had been craving since arriving on the islands! And for once, the octopus and squid were not chewy and rubbery, but tender and very flavorful. This was definitely my favorite meal on the trip! 

We did end up going to Ramla Bay, a beach famous for its reddish sand. We also checked out the capital city of Victoria and the famous salt flats. Both the beach and salt flats can be seen in images above. 

For dinner on our last night in Gozo, we decided to venture off to a new part of the island recommended by Bunty called Xlendi. Bunty said it was known as a pretty little inlet with great restaurants and she was spot on! I checked out some restaurant reviews on Trip Adviser and we ended up having dinner at Ta'Karolina - one of the highest rated restaurants on the island. We had a starter of freshly caught and fried calamari and for main courses I had the seafood spaghetti (covered with shrimp, mussels, king prawns, and clams) and Mr. C had a steak with peppercorn gravy and potatoes. Everything was fabulous and the food and service certainly lived up to their internet fame. When we first arrived the staff asked if we had reservations, and of course we did not as I only discovered the restaurant online that afternoon. Then we noticed several signs warning that it is best to have a reservation. We waited (and I tried not to get my hopes up as I glanced at a menu) but the server returned and said he would set up a table for us outside on the dock! In fact, it gave a perfect view of the cliffs and the little bay all being lit up in the fading light of the evening; easily the best seats in the house! In the photo below you can see a little cave with a boat and a walkway starting on the right. Well the walkway wraps around the cliff and ends at Ta'Karolina -- we basically had a table set up right on the water! The second photo shows our view from the table. It was a very special way to end our last night in the Maltese archipelago.

It was so nice to finally feel my body relaxing and re-energizing. Travel is fun, but it's also exhausting -- lots of walking, climbing, waiting, reading maps, bus or train schedules. There's a lot of pressure to go everywhere and see everything. It's important to stop and remember that it's meant to be a vacation, to be fun and relaxing. After a very long school year and an intense year of wedding planning, the five days we've spent at the Gozo farmhouse were exactly what we needed. The next day we were up early and heading back to the ferry and then on to the airport on Malta. We were on our way to the Paris portion of our honeymoon! 

Honeymoon Adventures Part II: Malta

After spending one hectic night in Paris, as mentioned in my previous entry, Mr. C and were off to a Mediterranean paradise via Air Malta. 

Malta is a Mediterranean island just south of Sicily and north of Tunisia and Libya. Because of its unique and convenient location between Europe and Africa, it represents an interesting blend of language, food, culture and history. The primary language is Maltese (a strange blend of Arabic and Italian) but many people speak English as Malta was a British colony from 1813 to 1964. Malta is also a member of the European Union and, as such, uses the euro as currency. The country is also devoutly Roman Catholic and there were many festivals taking place honoring local patron saints. Although strangely, its Muslim and Arabic past still lingers in the language and place names throughout the islands. Practically all the buildings are constructed of  the tan stone that is mined on the islands. In fact, it is a law that buildings are constructed of this material, probably for both aesthetic and environmental reasons as there are few trees on the island. It gives the place a very beautiful and unique appearance. 

When we first arrived in the small capital city of Valletta, it was dark and the place had closed up for the night. I was surprised how early everything was shut, as usually most Europeans like to dine late into the night. It's one of my favorite things about traveling in Europe as I'm a bit of a night owl myself. When we woke up on our first morning in Malta, we saw that the city had been transformed! It was alive with tourists and locals, all shopping and eating on Republic Street, the city's main thoroughfare. It was a completely different scene from when we had arrived. The sky was a brilliant blue and we noticed that you could glance down the steep side streets and see the Mediterranean sparkling out on the horizon. 

I took a lot of pictures of the narrow alleyways and quaint wooden balconies for which Malta is known. The balconies sit on stone plinths are are painted in a variety of colors and they come in many shapes and sizes. Some wrap all the way around the corners of buildings, like verandas, three, four, or five stories up from the city streets. Many are peeling paint, draped with old lace curtains, a faded Virgin Mary presiding over the window frame -- all giving a very charming feel to the streets.

On our first full day in Malta we took an adventure to the beach. Getting around on Malta and Gozo is fairly simple as there are buses that run to all the major attractions. They do take quite a while to get you to your destination, as they often take winding, non-direct routes and stop at many locations. Apart from renting a car, there is no other way to get around, and seeing the aggressive style of Maltese driving, I'm glad we didn't rent a car! We decided to visit Golden Bay, with its reddish gold sand and very beautiful water. It was a little busy and the water was surprisingly freezing cold! We enjoyed our time  there nonetheless, especially sitting out on the patio of one of the nearby restaurants to enjoy lunch. 

One of my favorite activities on Malta was visiting the Hal-Saflieni Hypogeum. It is a neolithic (i.e. Stone Age) underground necropolis (cemetery). It is, in fact, the only known underground neolithic temple in the entire world. It is carved from the living rock and arranged into three different levels, each created at a different time period. When discovered it was estimated that it contained the remains of around 7,000 people. They were not stacked neatly, but the bodies were left out to decay, the bones collected and all deposited into little "rooms" carved beneath the ground -- all remains were simply deposited into collective piles. Eventually it was forgotten and abandoned, all filled with mud and dirt until the early 20th century when it was rediscovered by chance. Farmers were trying to create cisterns for their newly built homes and broke unto the second level of the temple complex. Now it is a very delicate tourist attraction that only allows some 50 people to visit per day. As such, the tickets sell out months in advance. In fact, it is currently sold out until the end of July. If you plan to go to Malta, you must see this unique attraction, but make sure to purchase your tickets early. You won't want to miss out!

No photography was allowed, which I suppose is fine because it was so dark anyway. The light damages the remains of red ocher paintings on the ceilings, mostly ornate spirals and hexagons. The necropolis was really a marvel of human ingenuity as it was carved from the living rocks only with stone and bone tools. It was utilized for a thousand years and discovered with a number of beautifully carved/sculpted depictions of people-- ancestors, deities? The most famous is a tiny figure known as the "Sleeping Lady" -- a voluptuous Venus of Willendorf-esque woman lying curled on a platform which seems to sag beneath her weight. She may represent an ancestor, a fertility goddess, or perhaps even the sleep of death itself. We will never know! But the fact she exists and was created so artfully is really amazing. I bought a souvenir version to keep in my classroom. I can't wait to share my stories of the Hypogeum to my next round of world history students next semester!

After the Hypogeum we took a ten minute walk to another set of Stone Age ruins, this time above ground -- the Tarxien temple complex. This site was discovered with some very ornate carvings that are now housed in the Museum of Archaeology in Valletta -- including spirals, a scene with domesticated animals, and the bottom half of another voluptuous woman wearing a skirt with dainty little feet. They were removed from the original site in order to protect them but were replaced with replicas. On the way we noticed the small town we were walking through was preparing for some sort of patron saint festival. The streets were bedecked with colorful banners and wooden pillars painted to look like marble. There were several statues of Mary and Jesus waiting to be positioned. We reached the Tarxien temples in the heat of the afternoon. It was not nearly as moving as the Hypogeum but really cool nonetheless. There is something to be said in walking within the remains of a stone temple complex erected around 3,000 B.C.E.

While waiting for the bus back to Valletta, Mr. C and I had a chance to sample one of the local delicacies: a pastizzi. It's a buttery, savory pastry filled with either ricotta cheese or a seasoned pea mixture. Both are delicious, however I favor the cheese variety. Mr. C preferred the pea version. They are so delicious and basically flake apart into buttery bites as you eat them. Wash them down with an ice cold Coca-Cola and it is truly heaven!

You cannot miss a visit to Saint John's Co-Cathedral in the center of the Valletta. Malta is also known for being the home of the Knights Hospitaller who took up shop there after 1530. Mr. C, who read a book about crusader knights, was totally engrossed in the audio tour of the cathedral. I've seen many European cathedrals but this one was certainly something very special. The entire interior is completely covered in ornately carved and painted designs and motifs. It is quite spectacular and it practically glows from the ornate gold leafing. There are alcoves dedicated to the knights from each of the main countries: Portugal, Spain, France, and Germany and a few others. Well some of these were not quite countries yet, but regions and city-states, but you get the point. The English knights had their own order elsewhere (not on Malta), but I'm not sure about the history. The floor is covered in beautifully detailed marble tombs (the coolest ones depict skeletons) where 375 knights are buried. 

We also visited a few museums, like the Museum of Archaeology which was just a few minutes away from Saint John's Co-Cathedral. This is where the actual "Sleeping Lady" figure is housed along with lots of other relics of the past -- neolithic pottery shards, tools, and carvings, Phoenician urns, Roman jewelry. It all gave a great overview of the colorful and vast history that Malta and Gozo have experienced. So much history on such small islands! 

On our last day in Malta we checked out a medieval fortified city called Mdina (or the Silent City) that many people said we must visit. It is a walled city high on a hill and also home to several gates that were featured in HBO's hit series Game of Thrones. I've read all the books and seen both season one and two of the TV show. Unfortunately we only made it two episodes into the third season before school and wedding stuff completely consumed our lives in May.

We spent the afternoon moseying around the beautiful city and stopped to have cafe lattes (a serious addiction) and cake at a cute little restaurant right on the fortified walls of the city. Too bad it wasn't warmer and the weather nicer (it started to rain) -- otherwise it would have been a perfect day! But we were still able to marvel at the narrow little medieval cities where Maltese villagers somehow manage to drive their cars. Only people who live in the village are allowed to drive there, and surprisingly a lot of people still live there, mostly people who have been there for many generations! I definitely recommend a visit. 

After three days on Malta it was time to move on to the smaller sister island of Gozo, where we had a farmhouse rental with our name on it! Stay tuned for our adventures on Gozo and living the quiet, country life! 

Honeymoon Adventures Part I: Getting There

It's time for the Camel honeymoon recaps! In case you missed it, we visited the Mediterranean islands of Malta and Gozo with a short stop in the city of Paris on our way home. I will include a mixture of pretentious Instagram photos and "real" photos from my DSLR. Sorry if you get photo overload, but I took a lot on this trip! 

The night of our wedding Mr. C and I stayed at a place in downtown Athens called Hotel Indigo. It's only about 15 to 20 minutes from our venue and we had a limo ride there. One our our coworker's wives upgraded our original reservation to the presidential suite. It had three rooms, a bathroom the size of our apartment bedroom, a baby grand piano, a living room with giant flat screen TV, a second entryway bathroom -- in short it was enormous and absolutely ridiculous as we'd only really be spending a few hours there. I actually woke up around 4:00 am, my head abuzz with wedding day emotions, and was only able to fall back asleep as dawn crept into the windows. Around 10:00 am we checked out of our decadent room and met up with my dad, step-family, grandma, aunts and uncles for breakfast at their hotel down the street. We also ran into Mr. C's dad and stepmother who were also staying at the hotel.

We eventually said our tearful goodbyes and returned to our apartment which had exploded in a chaotic mess of wedding decor; it was one big sad, deflated wedding mess. There were presents, cards, boxes of milk glass, a bag of uneaten macarons, a trash bag full of flowers from our beautiful table decor. We sat down and began sorting through the mess. We opened cards and presents, broke down large boxes, took out several bags of trash. Our apartment started to return to normal, slowly but surely. Then we had to return to the venue to retrieve a pair of corn hole boards that were accidentally left behind. It was sad and surreal to return to the venue where just hours earlier there had been one big, amazing party held in celebration of our love. I started crying almost immediately! But we got the corn hole boards and returned home to finish packing.

We had a late start out the door and as a result barely made it on our 11:00 pm flight to Paris. I think because the flight left so late in the day we kept thinking we had more time than we had in reality. I travel all the time and I really, really should have known better (hangs head in shame)! We had to play the sad honeymooners card just to let the ticketing agent let us check in (it was past the hour check in time required for international flights). Honestly, I couldn't believe she was so nice, as usually us non-revenue passengers are treated like scum, honeymoon or not. The downside is that to make it in time, Mr. C had to park in the daily parking deck so we ended up paying $16 a day for parking. Ouch. But it was that or miss the flight. We could have tried again the following day but we weren't sure what the flights looked like or if we would be able to make it out. We rushed down to the terminal and were the last passengers on. We made it in business class and sitting next to each other -- a rare non-revenue luxury. I say non-revenue, but we paid for our plane tickets, just not a lot. The business class seats were a godsend because after waking up so early the previous night (plus all the post-wedding emotions and cleanup) I was absolutely exhausted. After dinner I passed out and it was easily the deepest sleep I've ever had on an international flight. Usually I'm excited, nervous, or my brain simply won't shut off long enough to let me rest on a plane. This time I was too tired to care.

My eyes were totally puffy from exhaustion/tears but I was so happy we were finally on our way!

When we landed it was dark, cold, and very rainy -- not the scene you want to see when landing in Paris! I was terrible and did not pack many warm clothes (a mistake that would haunt me the entire trip). Unfortunately Europe has been experiencing a lot of rain and uncharacteristically cool weather this summer. Anyway, we left a day early for our honeymoon as we were not sure that we would actually make it to Paris on the first try (again, the risk of traveling non-revenue). But we did! But we didn't have a hotel. We spent about three hours in the airport on the internet (per hour paid WIFI) trying to find a hotel that was not $500 a night and not already booked. I meant to do this before leaving, but I think with all the craziness of the wedding and cleaning and packing afterwards it was de-prioritized. I figured it would not be difficult to find something last minute. This turned out to be a pretty tall order, thanks in part to the French Open which we had no idea was taking place at the time. Actually, I'm still not sure if that was the issue, but for some reason every single hotel in Paris was completely full for the night.

After much stress and fretting I finally found a reasonably priced business hotel off the Place d'Italie metro stop in southeast Paris. After an epic ordeal trying to find it, and dragging our luggage around the streets (I'm sure we looked ridiculous), we eventually checked in. We were on the top floor in I think the only room with a balcony which wrapped around the entire room. We could see the tip of the Eiffel Tower along the skyline, miles away. The room had been a last minute cancellation, hence my ability to book it when everything else was packed. There wasn't much time for us to see or do anything in the city, which was fine since we would be back 

The streets of Valletta, Malta

The next day we were back at the airport and on our way to Malta - a little island just south of Sicily out in the Mediterranean. You can read all about why we chose Malta and Gozo as honeymoon destinations here. It was a short two hour flight from Paris. From the airport we took a crazy, bumpy bus ride to Valletta, the capital and location of our hotel. When we finally arrived the main street was dark and lifeless at 9:00 pm. I was surprised how quiet and utterly closed up it was! Most Europeans like to eat dinner late, like 9:00 pm late (which I love). This place was obviously much different and definitely something to keep in mind if you plan to visit Malta or Gozo. We found our hotel, but not after another exhausting strut around the city with all of our luggage as we struggled with locating our hotel (this will become a honeymoon theme, unfortunately). It really makes you love and appreciate your phone and data plans as at home we could have just pulled up Google Maps and been done with the business in seconds. We stayed at the Hotel Osbourne which was a converted palace -- a very cool place and with decent sized rooms.

The streets of Valletta, Malta

In my next post I will have something more than Instagram photos and some details about what we did and saw on Malta!

An Emotional Rehearsal Dinner

The Camels are officially home from the honeymoon and it was a romantic and spectacular time that we will not soon forget. Right now I am overwhelmed with all the photos I took over those two weeks and I'm still debating how much or how little detail I'd like to include in my recaps, but I will be sure to get back with you guys soon with our experiences on Malta, Gozo, and then in the city of Paris.

Until then, I feel that I need to backtrack a little and talk about our rehearsal dinner. What is usually a rather uneventful wedding tradition was made complicated by the first meeting of my mother and stepmother in addition to some sour post-divorce emotions on Mr. Camel's side of the family. You can read more about my concerns and pre-wedding emotions in the post Healing the Past: Family Drama and the Wedding.

In this case, I think a picture will speak a thousand words, and so I present to you the first photograph of me (as an adult) with my mom and dad who divorced in 1997: 

Red-faced from tears, completely and utterly overwhelmed with some of the most intense emotions I have felt in my life -- and yet here it is. This might seem trivial to some of you, but for me this was a massive closure for a deep emotional wound. I had been dreading this night, secretly squirreling away my anxiety for weeks leading up to this moment and suddenly for it to all be over, and not only over but to have gone so well, so perfectly -- it was beyond what I could ever have hoped or dreamed.

I felt the need to write about this because people are always talking about the emotions you will feel (or not feel) on your wedding day. No one talks about the rehearsal dinner, which in our case was a big deal not just because of the drama, but because all out of town family (and close family friends) were invited to attend. It was overwhelming. I felt torn in 20 different directions. Some of the photos in this post I don't even remember being taken. I felt like I was drunk but I had only consumed maybe two drinks the entire night; it was a dazed, bumbling feeling, clumsily making my way through snippets of dozens of conversations. I drifted around the room as in a dream, a lifetime of accumulated family and friends standing before me. You might notice something rather important missing from these photos. Where is Mr. C? Where is the man of the hour? One of my biggest regrets is that we were constantly apart the entire night. There were just too many people to meet and greet and eventually I felt my anxiety was swallowing me whole. It was too much, so I retreated to a large booth packed with my bridesmaids. I had them lock me in the center of the booth and for a moment the world stopped spinning. I felt safe there. 

We ordered our food. I had a roasted turkey sandwich with avocado and a side of sweet potato fries -- one of my favorite meals from this particular pub, but I could barely eat when it arrived. I distinctly remember my bridesmaids ordering me Hemingways, my favorite cocktail made with rum, grapefruit and lime juice, simple sugar, and maraschino liqueur. The drinks calmed my nerves but I knew I would eventually have to face the crowds again. At some point Mr. C sat down with me and had his dinner as well. This is around the time when things started to become very intense for me. I watched as my mom introduced herself first to my stepsister. My stepsister is the most energetic, bubbly, extroverted person I know and she hit it off with my mom. My mom seemed to actually be enjoying the conversation. She seemed happy. She was making such a huge effort and you have no idea how proud I was of her in that moment. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Was this real life? Was this happening? 

Again, I realize this sounds trivial for many readers but you have to understand that for most of my life, my step family has been a source of pain and evil for my mother. They were not to be discussed. My mom would make me feel like the scum of the earth each time I visited them in California. Thus for most of my life I have had two very separate families on different sides of the country. These families did not meet. They did not interact. Neither existed in the world of the other. And there I was witnessing the largest barrier in my life crashing down, like the Berlin Wall being torn apart, sweet freedom and release rushing in from the other side. 

My mother then moved on to introduce herself to my oldest stepbrother. They were smiling, laughing. I could not tell you what they were saying. It felt like the ocean was crashing in my ears and my eyes were welling with tears. Not the tiny, soft ones, but a tidal wave of emotional sobs. I felt my oldest friend and Matron of Honor reach over and quietly take my hand in hers. I squeezed it so hard because I knew there was no holding back what was coming. I cried and cried. My mom stopped her conversation and asked what was wrong, but she knew. She knew how huge this was for me. I looked up through my napkin tissue and I could see bridesmaid A was crying too. Mr. C had his arm around me. All of the anxiety, the dread of what this day and moment would be like was fleeing my chest along with a deluge of relief, happiness, and the warm feeling of a healing heart. I wish I could better describe the emotions I was feeling, their intensity, but I don't think it can be put into words.

I can't really remember what happened after this. Eventually my mom drifted back into the pub and I composed myself. I nibbled a little on my food and shared my disbelief with what was happening with my bridesmaids. At some point I got up to use the restroom and that is when I witnessed my mom and dad and stepmother talking (amicably if not awkwardly) to each other in front of my brother, my stepfather, and a large portion of my dad's family. Again, it was as if life was moving in slow motion, things seemed blurred. Was I dreaming? I felt another wave of tears and emotion. I remember crying my eyes out and hugging my dad so tightly. I looked up and my boss, his wife, and their son were watching me with smiles. I couldn't believe I was such a hot, emotional mess in front of so many people but I couldn't stop what was happening. That's when the photo was taken. Then my older brother jumped in as well. I'm not sure if he was crying here or trying to be funny to mask his own emotions.

In a few moments it was over, people were drifting away. My sweet aunt (not the one pictured below) hugged me. "It's a miracle," she said in her soft, comforting voice. It really was.

These photos were all taken by my cousin. I'm so glad she was there to capture these moments, otherwise I would have no physical evidence to show for the evening! I am so grateful to her for capturing moments that I will cherish for a lifetime. 

With my stepmother -- a picture I don't even remember being taken! 

With my dear aunt (my dad's sister) who everyone says I resemble. 

With my stepsister and bridesmaid J and Matron of Honor K.

With my dad and his ombre green shirt. I don't think he knew that ombre is currently trendy!

With the step-siblings: the youngest, then my bridesmaid, and the eldest on the right end. 

With my mom and stepfather.

Again, sadly there are no pictures of myself with Mr. C! Oh well, what can you do. Thankfully he (being the more extroverted and social of the two of us) was out manning the field in social interactions while I was experiencing the emotional roller coaster of a lifetime.

Thinking about this night and everything it implied and all the closure it has offered my life, it still has me in tears. I would love to sit down and talk with my mom and see what this night meant for her too. Did it lighten her heart? Did it provide closure for her emotional wounds, so old and so deep? I'm not sure, but I know that I am so grateful that she had the heart and courage to do what she did. It meant the world to me and really made the wedding something even more grand, even more special than it already was. It truly was the joining of not two families, but four. Looking at guest photos of my stepbrothers with Mr. C's niece, or with my coworkers dancing with my 87 year old grandmother -- there was so much joy and happiness and love there at once from all the corners of my life. That is what life is about. It's what we work and toil and worry for and in the end it is worth the trouble, the hardship, and the waiting. It's so worth it. I am truly blessed.