After the Wedding: What I Wouldn't Change

Happy New Year hive! It's a new year and I'm guessing we have some newly engaged readers here at Weddingbee. I was married on May 26, 2013 and I wanted to share my wedding planning advice for those of you who might just be getting started. I've had a lot of time to stop and reflect on our wedding, including what I loved and what I would change if given a second chance. Here are some decisions that we made during the planning process that I still feel good about.

Skip the Bouquet & Garter Toss 

I'm so glad we skipped these two wedding traditions. At 30 (and being the youngest in my family) and 36, we don't have too many single friends or family left these days, at least not ones we wanted to publicly humiliate by forcing them to stand in a group while I toss a bouquet at them. I've always been really embarrassed when I have been forced into a ring of younger women who are ready and willing to fight for the chance to be the next to get married. The garter toss didn't fit the vibe of our wedding either, nor does it really suit our personalities. I think these traditions are starting to lose popularity over the years, but they are probably a lot more fun if you are getting married young or have lots of younger family members who would be excited to join in. Go with your gut on this one, and don't let friends or family members talking you into having anything at your wedding that doesn't suit your style or personalities! Besides, who would want to toss this bouquet? 

Skip the Out-of-Town Bags: 

As much as I would have loved to pamper and impress our out-of-town guests, I am so glad that we skipped the out-of-town bags. It would be have been a huge extra cost for us (when things were already over budget) and it would have been very stressful to gather these items and assemble them at the last minute, not to mention getting them to the hotels and into the hands of specific guests. A lot of bee bloggers have made them and you see them a lot online, but please, please, please do not feel obligated or pressured to provide out-of-town bags to your guests. I don't think any guest arrives to a destination wedding expecting anything other than witnessing a wedding ceremony. Yes, it's a very special touch but it's a luxury, not a necessity. When I thought about all the money I was practically hemorrhaging those final weeks leading to the wedding, I came to the realization that it was just an unnecessary expense.

Skip the Bathroom Basket

This falls under the same category as the out-of-town bags. It's an unnecessary expense. I've seen women spend easily $50-100 on bathroom baskets. It's a very generous final touch, but guys -- you are at a wedding for maybe five or six hours. I don't think guests need an entire basket of conveniences for such a short period of time. This whole idea of being the gracious and generous hostess who anticipates the needs of her every guest is getting out of hand. If you have the money, go for it. Otherwise, skip the bathroom basket. No one will notice and you will save yourself time and money.

Be Yourselves!

I love that we incorporated some fun, silly photos into our wedding day portrait session, like the one below of us "Vadering." We aren't the most serious of couples, so this allowed some of our personality to shine through on our big day. Don't be afraid to ask you photographer to incorporate some fun or goofy photos like these!

Have the Sunday Wedding

We decided to hold our wedding on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. When negotiating with vendors, I did not mention it was a holiday weekend, I only mentioned that it was a Sunday. We ended up with a significant discount from our photographer and a great discount from our photographer! This meant we were able to afford a venue and caterer that otherwise would have been out of our budget. Don't be shy about the Sunday wedding, especially if you can get it to line up with a day most people will have off anyway!

Book the New Venue

I know it's not always possible, but we took a chance on a brand new wedding venue and really lucked out. A Divine Event had just bought the property that would become Cloverleaf Farms when Mr. C and I stopped by to have a look. There was still a lot of work to be done, but the event coordinator who showed us the property was able to help us see their vision and I loved what I heard. We were on board immediately, and took a chance booking a venue that was still a work in progress. As such, we received a significant discount as one of their first pre-advertising bookings.


Rent the Cafe Lights

We spent a lot of money on rented cafe lights. Yes, it's crazy. I realize it's crazy. But they turned out so magically beautiful. If I was a bit more industrious I would have found some way to purchase and hang my own cafe lights, but that was unrealistic considering the time crunch we were under as the wedding approached. But if you need to rent some ambient lights for your reception space -- go for it! It makes a huge impact. Originally we were going to hold the reception inside the house but since the venue coordinator suggested it, we decided to move all the tables outside and we needed to have lighting. We definitely wanted something more than the garish flood lights already attached to the house. Beauty and function! So for that, I say it was money well spent. But maybe see if you can buy your own and put them up the night before!

Get Edible Favors

Do you ever keep knick-knacks around because you feel guilty throwing them away or donating them? You keep them in a box in your closet or in the junk drawer, taking up space but simultaneously making you feel too guilty to toss them. That's me! That's why I'm glad we chose edible favors (French macarons) so our guests wouldn't be stuck with some random object they felt obligated to take home and keep. Not only were they practical, but they were beautiful and delicious as well. We had some on display on our dessert table and others were individually wrapped and passed out to guests with hand-stamped thank you tags. So many of our friends and family had never tried French macarons before, and everyone was so delighted by the amazing flavor and texture of these fancy little French cookies. It made me happy to share one of my small joys with our guests.

Sorta DIY the Flowers

Originally we were going to go total DIY for our flowers. The plan was to order flowers in bulk from fiftyflowers.com and then spend the Saturday before our Sunday wedding arranging the flowers into my collection of milk glass vessels. This all sounded feasible during the dreamlike "anything is possible" first six or seven months of wedding planning. And then reality sunk in. I didn't want to spend the day before my wedding frantically cutting and arranging flowers, transporting them to and from the venue, all the while asking my mom, family, and bridesmaids to sacrifice their time to help out. In the end, we went the semi-DIY route. This decision was also inspired by the floral quote I received. The compromise was that the florist would handle my bouquet, the groom's boutonniere, and the table decor while we DIYed the bridesmaid bouquets, aisle baskets, and groomsmen boutonnieres. We bought baby's breath in bulk and my mom made the arrangements in an hour or so two days before the wedding. They were fine sitting in water until the big day. In an ideal world I would have loved to have something a little more colorful for the bridesmaids, but I'm still happy with the end result. Plus it saved us a ton of money and we had plenty of baby's breath leftover to fill our aisle baskets too.

Keep the Seating Chart

If you are having a seated buffet, people will tell you that you do not need to have assigned seating. I had several people try to convince me that it was unnecessary. Others told me that guests would not want to stay at their tables. I beg to differ. First of all, as you might recall, I have some serious drama in my family and I wanted to ensure that each family member was sitting with the appropriate people. Secondly, as a guest, I hate having to save a seat for myself and my partner only to realize I'm sitting with a group of people I don't know. Maybe some people enjoy the element of surprise, but personally, I hate small talk with a passion. With these things in mind, I made sure to seat all of our guests with friends and relatives. If you feel like having a seating chart fits the vibe of your guests, go for it. Again, listen to your instinct and don't let anyone talk you out of it. 

Wear What Makes You Happy

I struggled with my decision to wear a blue sash on our wedding day. On one hand, I loved the look of the dress without the sash. On the other hand, I was kind of obsessed with the idea of the sash. I even waited until the last minute to ask my mother to make one because I just wasn't sure it was what I really wanted. I was terrified that I would regret the decision. Thankfully, I love the final look and I can't imagine our wedding day without it. No one ever tried to dissuade me from wearing it, but it would have been tough to ignore the comments of my friends and family. Even so, stick to your guns and wear what makes you happy! It's your wedding day, after all, not theirs. 

Did you make any tough decisions that you are still glad you stuck with, even months or years after the wedding? 

I'll Never Desert You: Putting on the White Dress

After opening my gift from Mr. C, it was time to get dressed! Unfortunately, I had made the mistake of asking my bridesmaids to get dressed at the wedding venue. I thought it would be fairly simple as Cloverleaf Farm has a large bridal suite with great mirrors and several bathrooms. This was actually a big mistake! There just wasn't enough time or room for all the girls: nine in all including Mr. C's "groomsladies" (his three sisters). Future brides, learn from my mistake and have your wedding party get dressed at the hair salon or elsewhere! 

I spent most of this time sitting on the couch in the bridal suite feeling really numb and overwhelmed. Everything was happening so fast. After such a slow and relaxing start to the day, time was suddenly speeding up! People were buzzing around me, floating in and out of the room. I recall staring blankly out the windows, not sure when I was going to put my dress on or get ready. Nothing felt real. At last all the ladies were dressed and it was time for me to don the Jim Hjelm gown that had been purchased nearly a year earlier. A lot of brides get really emotional when they put on their dress, but I was relatively calm and collected. I was just happy to finally putting on the dress I had waited a so many months to officially wear!

The photograph above is a really special one for me. It shows my mom and stepsister adjusting my dress. It's significant because it shows those two previously separate parts of my life (my mom and my dad's new family) working together for the first time. If you recall from my rehearsal dinner post, my mother only just met my stepmother and step-siblings for the first time. Again this image is symbolic of those two sides finally joining for the first time! 

There was lots of adjusting and fiddling with the sash so that the bow looked just right. I had no idea what was going on, so I just stood still while I let my mom and lovely bridesmaids do their work! 

Soon enough I was handed my gorgeous bouquet of garden roses and delphinium, given a few more adjustments, and then it was off to meet Mr. C for our first look! 

And now a peek into the groom's suite to see what Mr. C has been up to! He actually got dressed before the present exchange, but all the same here are some great photos of him getting ready. I was able to find a tie to match my sash at Macy's! I'm so glad I could find a color that watched so well! 

What a dapper gentleman I married!

Hugging his best man and brother-in-law.

Mr. C's mother pinning his boutonniere.

I love this sweet photo!

Up next is our emotional first look! 

Previously on The Camel Wedding Recaps: 

1) Getting Dressed & Exchanging Gifts

I'll Never Desert You: Getting Ready & Exchanging Gifts

Hello again readers! The official Camel wedding recaps have begun! I hope you guys are ready for wedding photography overload, all thanks to Christopher Helm Photography. Let's get this party started! 

We'll get to this special moment in due time!

After a very emotional rehearsal dinner, all of my bridesmaids spent the night at my apartment. The idea was to have an old school pre-wedding sleepover. I've known most of my bridesmaids since elementary or middle school, so of course we have a long history of sleepovers, usually involving viewings of The Last Unicorn or Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. Mr. C stayed at a hotel in downtown Athens with his best man. There were still a few little wedding tasks to tie up (literally) such as tying thank you tags to each individually wrapped macaron favor. This could not be done ahead of time because the macarons had only just been picked up that afternoon from the bakery in Atlanta. The seven of us made short work of the thank you tags and soon we were off to bed. 

I went to bed a bit later than I had planned. Surprisingly I didn't have much trouble falling asleep, but honestly I was exhausted from all the emotions and tears I experienced earlier in the evening. At around 8:00 am my stepsister (bridesmaid J) shook me awake. "You're getting married today!!" I was groggy but I knew there was a lot to get done (and a lot of girls to get ready) before we could leave the house. We had a 9:30 reservation at a local restaurant for a bridesmaid brunch, courtesy of my sweet grandmother. Once there we were served hot slices of cheese and spinach quiche with freshly baked biscuits, butter, jam, and fresh fruit. It was absolutely divine and such a calm, leisurely way to start the big day. My bridesmaids, mom, two aunts, and grandmother were all in attendance and we sat outside under the shade of some trees, catching up between sips of coffee and orange juice. Honestly, this was one of my favorite parts of the day! Then it was off to the salon. 

Getting my hair done by the amazing Olive at City Salon and Spa.

We had six bridesmaids, three groomsladies, and two mothers getting their hair done at the salon. This took at least a good three hours with three different stylists working nonstop. Then there was me, of course, and I was also getting my makeup done. This all took place at the fabulous City Salon and Spa in Athens, Georgia. We had a great time though and came prepared with champagne and orange juice for mimosas and my amazing matron of honor K and bridesmaid J ran out to grab Panera Bread sandwiches and salads for the entire bridal party.  

Some bridesmaids and groomsladies waiting for their turn at the salon chair.

Mr. C's three beautiful sisters (from left) with my good friend the lovely bridesmaid S on the right.

After hair, makeup, and a quick in-salon lunch we were off to the venue, Cloverleaf Farm. The weather was absolutely perfect. It's been raining nonstop this summer in Georgia, which is great since previously we had been experiencing a drought, but it certainly made me nervous leading up to the wedding day! By the middle of May we had already received more than our monthly average of rainfall and it didn't seem to be stopping any time soon. But as luck would have it, we had a gorgeously sunny day with low humidity. Humidity is another thing you need to worry about in the South as it can make even moderate temperatures miserable (and destroy your hairstyle).  

Arriving at the venue with bridesmaid J, feeling like a rock star.

I called one of Mr. C's groomsmen ahead of time to ensure that he was not wandering around the venue when we arrived. Then the girls were all whisked upstairs to the beautiful bridal suite to get ready. While my bridesmaids were rushing about to get dressed, I was delivered a present from Mr. C's youngest sister. You see, Mr. C and I decided to follow the trend of gifting each other wedding day presents. I couldn't wait to see what he had picked out for me, as he had been giving me little hints leading up to the big day. I could tell that he was proud and excited for me to open my gift! 

Mr. C's youngest sister and niece look on as I read the card.

First of course there was the heartfelt card where he told me he couldn't wait for me to become his wife. Then I opened the present. When I tore open the white paper I found a Little Prince music box. This was perfect as we chose a reading from the Little Prince for our ceremony. Apparently he had it imported from France! When I opened the lid, I found a teal box wrapped in white ribbon: a sight that many a lady longs to see. Who could mistake a box from Tiffany & Co.? 

And inside the Tiffany's box was an elegant pearl necklace. It has a decorative silver pendant that evokes the art deco style of the 1920's. This is very apt as it is from Tiffany's Ziegfeld collection commemorating Baz Luhrman's film The Great Gatsby. Mr. C and I both love the book (but we have not seen the film), so once again he found the perfect, symbolic gift! I wasn't planning on wearing a necklace for the wedding, but this gift was just too perfect not to wear. I swear, Mr. C is one amazing guy. 

Now that I had opened my gift, it was time for Mr. C to open his. I was really at a loss as to what to give my future husband. He doesn't wear suits often so cuff links were out. I had just recently bought him a really nice watch to wear, so a timepiece wouldn't work either. He would never use something like a money clip. Recently his beloved iPod had died and I realized how much he missed having it in his car to listen to music, so I bought him a new iPod, matte black with our initials and wedding date engraved on the back. It's so hard to get a man a sentimental gift! But I did find a really cute pop-up Little Prince card where I inscribed my wedding day message of love for him. 

After opening our presents, it was nearly time for our first look! But I wasn't even dressed yet. Next up, the girls and guys get dressed and ready for the big event. 

Honeymoon Adventures Part II: Malta

After spending one hectic night in Paris, as mentioned in my previous entry, Mr. C and were off to a Mediterranean paradise via Air Malta. 

Malta is a Mediterranean island just south of Sicily and north of Tunisia and Libya. Because of its unique and convenient location between Europe and Africa, it represents an interesting blend of language, food, culture and history. The primary language is Maltese (a strange blend of Arabic and Italian) but many people speak English as Malta was a British colony from 1813 to 1964. Malta is also a member of the European Union and, as such, uses the euro as currency. The country is also devoutly Roman Catholic and there were many festivals taking place honoring local patron saints. Although strangely, its Muslim and Arabic past still lingers in the language and place names throughout the islands. Practically all the buildings are constructed of  the tan stone that is mined on the islands. In fact, it is a law that buildings are constructed of this material, probably for both aesthetic and environmental reasons as there are few trees on the island. It gives the place a very beautiful and unique appearance. 

When we first arrived in the small capital city of Valletta, it was dark and the place had closed up for the night. I was surprised how early everything was shut, as usually most Europeans like to dine late into the night. It's one of my favorite things about traveling in Europe as I'm a bit of a night owl myself. When we woke up on our first morning in Malta, we saw that the city had been transformed! It was alive with tourists and locals, all shopping and eating on Republic Street, the city's main thoroughfare. It was a completely different scene from when we had arrived. The sky was a brilliant blue and we noticed that you could glance down the steep side streets and see the Mediterranean sparkling out on the horizon. 

I took a lot of pictures of the narrow alleyways and quaint wooden balconies for which Malta is known. The balconies sit on stone plinths are are painted in a variety of colors and they come in many shapes and sizes. Some wrap all the way around the corners of buildings, like verandas, three, four, or five stories up from the city streets. Many are peeling paint, draped with old lace curtains, a faded Virgin Mary presiding over the window frame -- all giving a very charming feel to the streets.

On our first full day in Malta we took an adventure to the beach. Getting around on Malta and Gozo is fairly simple as there are buses that run to all the major attractions. They do take quite a while to get you to your destination, as they often take winding, non-direct routes and stop at many locations. Apart from renting a car, there is no other way to get around, and seeing the aggressive style of Maltese driving, I'm glad we didn't rent a car! We decided to visit Golden Bay, with its reddish gold sand and very beautiful water. It was a little busy and the water was surprisingly freezing cold! We enjoyed our time  there nonetheless, especially sitting out on the patio of one of the nearby restaurants to enjoy lunch. 

One of my favorite activities on Malta was visiting the Hal-Saflieni Hypogeum. It is a neolithic (i.e. Stone Age) underground necropolis (cemetery). It is, in fact, the only known underground neolithic temple in the entire world. It is carved from the living rock and arranged into three different levels, each created at a different time period. When discovered it was estimated that it contained the remains of around 7,000 people. They were not stacked neatly, but the bodies were left out to decay, the bones collected and all deposited into little "rooms" carved beneath the ground -- all remains were simply deposited into collective piles. Eventually it was forgotten and abandoned, all filled with mud and dirt until the early 20th century when it was rediscovered by chance. Farmers were trying to create cisterns for their newly built homes and broke unto the second level of the temple complex. Now it is a very delicate tourist attraction that only allows some 50 people to visit per day. As such, the tickets sell out months in advance. In fact, it is currently sold out until the end of July. If you plan to go to Malta, you must see this unique attraction, but make sure to purchase your tickets early. You won't want to miss out!

No photography was allowed, which I suppose is fine because it was so dark anyway. The light damages the remains of red ocher paintings on the ceilings, mostly ornate spirals and hexagons. The necropolis was really a marvel of human ingenuity as it was carved from the living rocks only with stone and bone tools. It was utilized for a thousand years and discovered with a number of beautifully carved/sculpted depictions of people-- ancestors, deities? The most famous is a tiny figure known as the "Sleeping Lady" -- a voluptuous Venus of Willendorf-esque woman lying curled on a platform which seems to sag beneath her weight. She may represent an ancestor, a fertility goddess, or perhaps even the sleep of death itself. We will never know! But the fact she exists and was created so artfully is really amazing. I bought a souvenir version to keep in my classroom. I can't wait to share my stories of the Hypogeum to my next round of world history students next semester!

After the Hypogeum we took a ten minute walk to another set of Stone Age ruins, this time above ground -- the Tarxien temple complex. This site was discovered with some very ornate carvings that are now housed in the Museum of Archaeology in Valletta -- including spirals, a scene with domesticated animals, and the bottom half of another voluptuous woman wearing a skirt with dainty little feet. They were removed from the original site in order to protect them but were replaced with replicas. On the way we noticed the small town we were walking through was preparing for some sort of patron saint festival. The streets were bedecked with colorful banners and wooden pillars painted to look like marble. There were several statues of Mary and Jesus waiting to be positioned. We reached the Tarxien temples in the heat of the afternoon. It was not nearly as moving as the Hypogeum but really cool nonetheless. There is something to be said in walking within the remains of a stone temple complex erected around 3,000 B.C.E.

While waiting for the bus back to Valletta, Mr. C and I had a chance to sample one of the local delicacies: a pastizzi. It's a buttery, savory pastry filled with either ricotta cheese or a seasoned pea mixture. Both are delicious, however I favor the cheese variety. Mr. C preferred the pea version. They are so delicious and basically flake apart into buttery bites as you eat them. Wash them down with an ice cold Coca-Cola and it is truly heaven!

You cannot miss a visit to Saint John's Co-Cathedral in the center of the Valletta. Malta is also known for being the home of the Knights Hospitaller who took up shop there after 1530. Mr. C, who read a book about crusader knights, was totally engrossed in the audio tour of the cathedral. I've seen many European cathedrals but this one was certainly something very special. The entire interior is completely covered in ornately carved and painted designs and motifs. It is quite spectacular and it practically glows from the ornate gold leafing. There are alcoves dedicated to the knights from each of the main countries: Portugal, Spain, France, and Germany and a few others. Well some of these were not quite countries yet, but regions and city-states, but you get the point. The English knights had their own order elsewhere (not on Malta), but I'm not sure about the history. The floor is covered in beautifully detailed marble tombs (the coolest ones depict skeletons) where 375 knights are buried. 

We also visited a few museums, like the Museum of Archaeology which was just a few minutes away from Saint John's Co-Cathedral. This is where the actual "Sleeping Lady" figure is housed along with lots of other relics of the past -- neolithic pottery shards, tools, and carvings, Phoenician urns, Roman jewelry. It all gave a great overview of the colorful and vast history that Malta and Gozo have experienced. So much history on such small islands! 

On our last day in Malta we checked out a medieval fortified city called Mdina (or the Silent City) that many people said we must visit. It is a walled city high on a hill and also home to several gates that were featured in HBO's hit series Game of Thrones. I've read all the books and seen both season one and two of the TV show. Unfortunately we only made it two episodes into the third season before school and wedding stuff completely consumed our lives in May.

We spent the afternoon moseying around the beautiful city and stopped to have cafe lattes (a serious addiction) and cake at a cute little restaurant right on the fortified walls of the city. Too bad it wasn't warmer and the weather nicer (it started to rain) -- otherwise it would have been a perfect day! But we were still able to marvel at the narrow little medieval cities where Maltese villagers somehow manage to drive their cars. Only people who live in the village are allowed to drive there, and surprisingly a lot of people still live there, mostly people who have been there for many generations! I definitely recommend a visit. 

After three days on Malta it was time to move on to the smaller sister island of Gozo, where we had a farmhouse rental with our name on it! Stay tuned for our adventures on Gozo and living the quiet, country life! 

Honeymoon Adventures Part I: Getting There

It's time for the Camel honeymoon recaps! In case you missed it, we visited the Mediterranean islands of Malta and Gozo with a short stop in the city of Paris on our way home. I will include a mixture of pretentious Instagram photos and "real" photos from my DSLR. Sorry if you get photo overload, but I took a lot on this trip! 

The night of our wedding Mr. C and I stayed at a place in downtown Athens called Hotel Indigo. It's only about 15 to 20 minutes from our venue and we had a limo ride there. One our our coworker's wives upgraded our original reservation to the presidential suite. It had three rooms, a bathroom the size of our apartment bedroom, a baby grand piano, a living room with giant flat screen TV, a second entryway bathroom -- in short it was enormous and absolutely ridiculous as we'd only really be spending a few hours there. I actually woke up around 4:00 am, my head abuzz with wedding day emotions, and was only able to fall back asleep as dawn crept into the windows. Around 10:00 am we checked out of our decadent room and met up with my dad, step-family, grandma, aunts and uncles for breakfast at their hotel down the street. We also ran into Mr. C's dad and stepmother who were also staying at the hotel.

We eventually said our tearful goodbyes and returned to our apartment which had exploded in a chaotic mess of wedding decor; it was one big sad, deflated wedding mess. There were presents, cards, boxes of milk glass, a bag of uneaten macarons, a trash bag full of flowers from our beautiful table decor. We sat down and began sorting through the mess. We opened cards and presents, broke down large boxes, took out several bags of trash. Our apartment started to return to normal, slowly but surely. Then we had to return to the venue to retrieve a pair of corn hole boards that were accidentally left behind. It was sad and surreal to return to the venue where just hours earlier there had been one big, amazing party held in celebration of our love. I started crying almost immediately! But we got the corn hole boards and returned home to finish packing.

We had a late start out the door and as a result barely made it on our 11:00 pm flight to Paris. I think because the flight left so late in the day we kept thinking we had more time than we had in reality. I travel all the time and I really, really should have known better (hangs head in shame)! We had to play the sad honeymooners card just to let the ticketing agent let us check in (it was past the hour check in time required for international flights). Honestly, I couldn't believe she was so nice, as usually us non-revenue passengers are treated like scum, honeymoon or not. The downside is that to make it in time, Mr. C had to park in the daily parking deck so we ended up paying $16 a day for parking. Ouch. But it was that or miss the flight. We could have tried again the following day but we weren't sure what the flights looked like or if we would be able to make it out. We rushed down to the terminal and were the last passengers on. We made it in business class and sitting next to each other -- a rare non-revenue luxury. I say non-revenue, but we paid for our plane tickets, just not a lot. The business class seats were a godsend because after waking up so early the previous night (plus all the post-wedding emotions and cleanup) I was absolutely exhausted. After dinner I passed out and it was easily the deepest sleep I've ever had on an international flight. Usually I'm excited, nervous, or my brain simply won't shut off long enough to let me rest on a plane. This time I was too tired to care.

My eyes were totally puffy from exhaustion/tears but I was so happy we were finally on our way!

When we landed it was dark, cold, and very rainy -- not the scene you want to see when landing in Paris! I was terrible and did not pack many warm clothes (a mistake that would haunt me the entire trip). Unfortunately Europe has been experiencing a lot of rain and uncharacteristically cool weather this summer. Anyway, we left a day early for our honeymoon as we were not sure that we would actually make it to Paris on the first try (again, the risk of traveling non-revenue). But we did! But we didn't have a hotel. We spent about three hours in the airport on the internet (per hour paid WIFI) trying to find a hotel that was not $500 a night and not already booked. I meant to do this before leaving, but I think with all the craziness of the wedding and cleaning and packing afterwards it was de-prioritized. I figured it would not be difficult to find something last minute. This turned out to be a pretty tall order, thanks in part to the French Open which we had no idea was taking place at the time. Actually, I'm still not sure if that was the issue, but for some reason every single hotel in Paris was completely full for the night.

After much stress and fretting I finally found a reasonably priced business hotel off the Place d'Italie metro stop in southeast Paris. After an epic ordeal trying to find it, and dragging our luggage around the streets (I'm sure we looked ridiculous), we eventually checked in. We were on the top floor in I think the only room with a balcony which wrapped around the entire room. We could see the tip of the Eiffel Tower along the skyline, miles away. The room had been a last minute cancellation, hence my ability to book it when everything else was packed. There wasn't much time for us to see or do anything in the city, which was fine since we would be back 

The streets of Valletta, Malta

The next day we were back at the airport and on our way to Malta - a little island just south of Sicily out in the Mediterranean. You can read all about why we chose Malta and Gozo as honeymoon destinations here. It was a short two hour flight from Paris. From the airport we took a crazy, bumpy bus ride to Valletta, the capital and location of our hotel. When we finally arrived the main street was dark and lifeless at 9:00 pm. I was surprised how quiet and utterly closed up it was! Most Europeans like to eat dinner late, like 9:00 pm late (which I love). This place was obviously much different and definitely something to keep in mind if you plan to visit Malta or Gozo. We found our hotel, but not after another exhausting strut around the city with all of our luggage as we struggled with locating our hotel (this will become a honeymoon theme, unfortunately). It really makes you love and appreciate your phone and data plans as at home we could have just pulled up Google Maps and been done with the business in seconds. We stayed at the Hotel Osbourne which was a converted palace -- a very cool place and with decent sized rooms.

The streets of Valletta, Malta

In my next post I will have something more than Instagram photos and some details about what we did and saw on Malta!

An Emotional Rehearsal Dinner

The Camels are officially home from the honeymoon and it was a romantic and spectacular time that we will not soon forget. Right now I am overwhelmed with all the photos I took over those two weeks and I'm still debating how much or how little detail I'd like to include in my recaps, but I will be sure to get back with you guys soon with our experiences on Malta, Gozo, and then in the city of Paris.

Until then, I feel that I need to backtrack a little and talk about our rehearsal dinner. What is usually a rather uneventful wedding tradition was made complicated by the first meeting of my mother and stepmother in addition to some sour post-divorce emotions on Mr. Camel's side of the family. You can read more about my concerns and pre-wedding emotions in the post Healing the Past: Family Drama and the Wedding.

In this case, I think a picture will speak a thousand words, and so I present to you the first photograph of me (as an adult) with my mom and dad who divorced in 1997: 

Red-faced from tears, completely and utterly overwhelmed with some of the most intense emotions I have felt in my life -- and yet here it is. This might seem trivial to some of you, but for me this was a massive closure for a deep emotional wound. I had been dreading this night, secretly squirreling away my anxiety for weeks leading up to this moment and suddenly for it to all be over, and not only over but to have gone so well, so perfectly -- it was beyond what I could ever have hoped or dreamed.

I felt the need to write about this because people are always talking about the emotions you will feel (or not feel) on your wedding day. No one talks about the rehearsal dinner, which in our case was a big deal not just because of the drama, but because all out of town family (and close family friends) were invited to attend. It was overwhelming. I felt torn in 20 different directions. Some of the photos in this post I don't even remember being taken. I felt like I was drunk but I had only consumed maybe two drinks the entire night; it was a dazed, bumbling feeling, clumsily making my way through snippets of dozens of conversations. I drifted around the room as in a dream, a lifetime of accumulated family and friends standing before me. You might notice something rather important missing from these photos. Where is Mr. C? Where is the man of the hour? One of my biggest regrets is that we were constantly apart the entire night. There were just too many people to meet and greet and eventually I felt my anxiety was swallowing me whole. It was too much, so I retreated to a large booth packed with my bridesmaids. I had them lock me in the center of the booth and for a moment the world stopped spinning. I felt safe there. 

We ordered our food. I had a roasted turkey sandwich with avocado and a side of sweet potato fries -- one of my favorite meals from this particular pub, but I could barely eat when it arrived. I distinctly remember my bridesmaids ordering me Hemingways, my favorite cocktail made with rum, grapefruit and lime juice, simple sugar, and maraschino liqueur. The drinks calmed my nerves but I knew I would eventually have to face the crowds again. At some point Mr. C sat down with me and had his dinner as well. This is around the time when things started to become very intense for me. I watched as my mom introduced herself first to my stepsister. My stepsister is the most energetic, bubbly, extroverted person I know and she hit it off with my mom. My mom seemed to actually be enjoying the conversation. She seemed happy. She was making such a huge effort and you have no idea how proud I was of her in that moment. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Was this real life? Was this happening? 

Again, I realize this sounds trivial for many readers but you have to understand that for most of my life, my step family has been a source of pain and evil for my mother. They were not to be discussed. My mom would make me feel like the scum of the earth each time I visited them in California. Thus for most of my life I have had two very separate families on different sides of the country. These families did not meet. They did not interact. Neither existed in the world of the other. And there I was witnessing the largest barrier in my life crashing down, like the Berlin Wall being torn apart, sweet freedom and release rushing in from the other side. 

My mother then moved on to introduce herself to my oldest stepbrother. They were smiling, laughing. I could not tell you what they were saying. It felt like the ocean was crashing in my ears and my eyes were welling with tears. Not the tiny, soft ones, but a tidal wave of emotional sobs. I felt my oldest friend and Matron of Honor reach over and quietly take my hand in hers. I squeezed it so hard because I knew there was no holding back what was coming. I cried and cried. My mom stopped her conversation and asked what was wrong, but she knew. She knew how huge this was for me. I looked up through my napkin tissue and I could see bridesmaid A was crying too. Mr. C had his arm around me. All of the anxiety, the dread of what this day and moment would be like was fleeing my chest along with a deluge of relief, happiness, and the warm feeling of a healing heart. I wish I could better describe the emotions I was feeling, their intensity, but I don't think it can be put into words.

I can't really remember what happened after this. Eventually my mom drifted back into the pub and I composed myself. I nibbled a little on my food and shared my disbelief with what was happening with my bridesmaids. At some point I got up to use the restroom and that is when I witnessed my mom and dad and stepmother talking (amicably if not awkwardly) to each other in front of my brother, my stepfather, and a large portion of my dad's family. Again, it was as if life was moving in slow motion, things seemed blurred. Was I dreaming? I felt another wave of tears and emotion. I remember crying my eyes out and hugging my dad so tightly. I looked up and my boss, his wife, and their son were watching me with smiles. I couldn't believe I was such a hot, emotional mess in front of so many people but I couldn't stop what was happening. That's when the photo was taken. Then my older brother jumped in as well. I'm not sure if he was crying here or trying to be funny to mask his own emotions.

In a few moments it was over, people were drifting away. My sweet aunt (not the one pictured below) hugged me. "It's a miracle," she said in her soft, comforting voice. It really was.

These photos were all taken by my cousin. I'm so glad she was there to capture these moments, otherwise I would have no physical evidence to show for the evening! I am so grateful to her for capturing moments that I will cherish for a lifetime. 

With my stepmother -- a picture I don't even remember being taken! 

With my dear aunt (my dad's sister) who everyone says I resemble. 

With my stepsister and bridesmaid J and Matron of Honor K.

With my dad and his ombre green shirt. I don't think he knew that ombre is currently trendy!

With the step-siblings: the youngest, then my bridesmaid, and the eldest on the right end. 

With my mom and stepfather.

Again, sadly there are no pictures of myself with Mr. C! Oh well, what can you do. Thankfully he (being the more extroverted and social of the two of us) was out manning the field in social interactions while I was experiencing the emotional roller coaster of a lifetime.

Thinking about this night and everything it implied and all the closure it has offered my life, it still has me in tears. I would love to sit down and talk with my mom and see what this night meant for her too. Did it lighten her heart? Did it provide closure for her emotional wounds, so old and so deep? I'm not sure, but I know that I am so grateful that she had the heart and courage to do what she did. It meant the world to me and really made the wedding something even more grand, even more special than it already was. It truly was the joining of not two families, but four. Looking at guest photos of my stepbrothers with Mr. C's niece, or with my coworkers dancing with my 87 year old grandmother -- there was so much joy and happiness and love there at once from all the corners of my life. That is what life is about. It's what we work and toil and worry for and in the end it is worth the trouble, the hardship, and the waiting. It's so worth it. I am truly blessed.

Our Photo Guest Book

Recently I finished gathering everything we will need for our guest book. This was a great thing to cross off the ever-growing to-do list before we get too close to the wedding. 

There are so many unique and fun options for guest books these days and not many people still opt for the traditional book of signatures anymore. Something I've always wanted to do was the the photo guest book. I love photography and I have scrapbooks and photo albums jam-packed with photographs. I was sort of the record-keeper as a kid and I took and kept most of the photos and films of my friends as we were growing up. Therefore, the photo guest book seemed like a natural choice for us -- plus something Mr. C and I will enjoying flipping through for years to come! 

Image source via: Ruffled / Photography by: Alexandra Roberts Photography

Mr. C gave me a Fujifilm Instax MINI instant film camera for Christmas a few years ago. Granted, I don't use it very often (the film is rather expensive) but as soon as we got engaged I knew that it would come in handy! The idea is to have each couple or group of guests photographed. The instantly developed film will then added to our guest book with a personal message. We plan to have an attendant stationed at the table for a while in order to assist guests in taking photos. There is also a cool little fish eye mirror at the front of the camera which will allow guests to take selfie photos as well, in case the attendant has left for the evening. 

Image source via: Amazon

In order to cut down on confusion we also plan to have some of our groomsmen and bridesmaids add some of their photos and messages first so that other guests can get a feel for what they should do. Overall though, I don't care if it is disorganized or messy -- part of the fun will be seeing what silly photos our guests take and what messages they will write or draw for us. 

Interested in making your own photo guest book? Here are some of the things that you will need:

1) An Instant Film Camera: 

A Fujifilm Instax MINI 25 Instant Film Camera (around $100) or its cheaper, smaller cousin the Fujifilm Instax Mini 7s (around $65).

2) Instant Film: 

This will vary depending on which camera you choose, but it's cheapest on Amazon. I bought the Fujifilm Instax MINI film on Amazon at around $17 for 20 photos. I've also seen this same film sold at Wal-Mart and Urban Outfitters at slightly higher prices. I bought a few of these two packs so that we'd have around 60 photos. I figured most people would take photos as a couple or a group and we are expecting around 100-120 guests at the wedding.

Image source via: Amazon

3) A Guest Book: 

You need a book that can accommodate the photos and room for a personal message. The photos are actually fairly thick and I imagine they will add a lot of height to your book, if that makes sense. We went with this one from Amazon:

Image source via: Amazon

There might be better options out there, but honestly I just wanted something simple that would get the job done. This one has a beautiful color that will match our wedding decor and it was inexpensive. 

4) A Sign with Instructions: 

Here's the sign I made in Illustrator that will be framed and sitting next to the guest book and camera.

And here it is printed out and in a frame I bought at the thrift store and spray painted white (it looks a little more washed out in this photo than it is in reality): 

5) Adhesive: 

Instead of tempting fate with messy, slow-drying glue, we decided to go with cute, colorful washi tape! What is washi tape? It's sort of a gentle masking tape, usually with fun, colorful patterns and designs. I picked up an insane amount of washi tape in Japan over the summer and I have been saving it for a rainy day. Well, I'm glad I did because it will make the perfect addition to our guest photo book. The multi-pack you see below is one of the exact same ones I bought in Japan!

Image source via: cutetape.com

6) Archival Ink:

You don't want those endearing messages from guests to fade over time, so make sure they are written in acid-free archival ink! I bought some Pigma Micron pens in a variety of colors. 

Image source via: Amazon

What type of guest book will you have at your wedding?