Wednesday, December 26, 2012

The Engagement Photos Are In!

Hello Hive! I hope everyone has had a very enjoyable holiday season. I'm back to share our engagement photos with you! I just received these and I couldn't wait to share them with you guys.




As you can see, we used a couple of the engagement photo session trends I mentioned in a previous post.











Just hanging out on top of hay bales, looking very stoic, like ya do. 


Using the letters I created during a DIY tutorial in a previous entry



I am so incredibly impressed with the skill and patience of our amazing photographer Christopher Helm. When searching for a photographer, Mr. C and I knew we wanted someone with true, raw skill -- not just someone who uses vintage effects in post-processing. After browsing Chris' portfolio I could see that he captured amazing photos in a variety of settings and light conditions. His photos are classic and timeless. Plus he's a really fun, friendly guy who put Mr. C and I at ease the moment we met him. He spent four hours out with us to capture these images from sunlight to sunset and gathering dusk. We're so excited to be working with him on our big day.  

I have to tell you guys that I have browsed hundreds, if not thousands of engagement photos online in the past. This is partially due to my addiction to wedding blog browsing. This addiction may or may not have existed prior to being officially engaged. I walked into this venture knowing exactly what to expect, or so I thought. What I didn't expect was that the first 30 minutes of this photo shoot was incredibly, painfully awkward for Mr. C and me. Thankfully Chris was able to help us feel more at ease and relaxed as we worked together. I guess my warning to you ladies is prepare for a little awkwardness at the start! (that's what she said) 

Was your initial engagement photo shoot a little awkward?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Best Day Ever

I want to tell you all about the best day ever. Do you have a best day ever? A day when everything, in spite of all odds, somehow turns out perfectly? My best day ever is the day Mr. C proposed to me. And it wasn't just about being engaged, it was everything else in the universe aligning to make the most amazing, absolutely perfect day.

But first, let's start at the beginning.



One day last February I was home from work and wistfully scrolling through images of Versailles on my computer. I was showing Mr. C some images and talking about how much I wanted to return to Paris. I was trying to convince him that we should visit Paris in November when I knew we'd have a week off for Thanksgiving break. Suddenly Mr. C bent down beside me. He had a puckish twinkle in his eyes. "What if we went to Paris for spring break?" My heart stopped. I stared at him for a moment. Mind you, spring break was only around four weeks away at this point. The idea of hopping on a plane and making a spontaneous trip to Paris was both exhilarating and terrifying. Really only terrifying in a very mundane adult sort of way: How much would it cost? Where would we stay? Can we really do this? Should I feel guilty about spending this money (when I really need a new car..)?

Now, to be fair, it's a little cheaper for us to travel than for most people. My dad is a pilot for Delta Airlines and I fly standby for a discount. The catch is that I only get on a plane if and when there is an open seat. I have higher priority than Mr. C, who flies on a buddy pass. Buddy passes are like the dripping pond scum of the airline world. Buddy passes are practically useless these days if you don't want to spend hours or even days waiting in the airport to fly somewhere. This makes planning vacations very stressful. So while flying to Paris would be relatively inexpensive, we also might never end up in Paris--or we could end up in Paris a day or two behind schedule. This in turn makes it nearly impossible to make hotel reservations. It is always a gamble.

I spent the rest of the night thinking it over. A few months earlier Mr. C and I had had "the talk." You know, the one where you talk about getting married. We'd also recently been scouring both the internet and local antique malls for the perfect antique engagement ring. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to go. The idea was taking a deeply rooted hold in my mind. I could be in Paris in a few weeks! I could see Versailles again! I was giddy with excitement. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep that night.


In a few short weeks we were off to Paris. It was our first international trip together and Mr. C's first international trip ever! Due to some airline miracle we had zero problems getting there and we arrived at Charles-de-Gaulle, the most ill-conceived airport in the world, on March 12th. I had checked and rechecked and triple checked the Paris weather for weeks. I felt like an outdoor wedding bride as I obsessed over weather forecasts. Paris is a walking city. You spend a lot of time outside, especially on the grounds of Versailles and the Petit Trianon. A few days of bad weather could make the whole trip quite miserable. But the weather was perfect. It was a little humid and chilly, but it did not rain. The sun was shining. The sky was blue. The cherry blossoms were in bloom. It was Paris in (almost) springtime.




And then it started. When would he propose? I mean, he was going to propose, right? We were in Paris, the most romantic city in the world. If it wasn't happening there, then it wasn't happening. But it didn't happen at the top of the Eiffel Tower. It didn't happen on a sunset boat cruise on the Seine. It didn't happen on the Champs Elysees as I greedily consumed my LadurĂ©e macarons, or at the Louvre, or in the lovely Jardin de Tuileries. I was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, I had gotten my hopes up about nothing. Maybe Mr. C really did just want to go to Paris for the fun of it. I started to feel a little bit silly. 

On our last full day in Paris, we visited Versailles. It was my second time at Versailles and I came prepared. I had read not one, but two different biographies about Marie Antoinette. I read a book specifically about the history Versailles. I also somehow convinced myself that I needed a giant Versailles coffee table book which I studied carefully for days. As soon as we made the decision to go to Paris I booked a special tour of the private apartments of Louis XV and Louis XVI. They only offer these tours to prearranged groups who have purchased tickets in advance. I wasn't going to miss out on the opportunity! In fact, if you have a chance to go, make sure to check the Versailles website to see what tours they are offering. You get to see parts of the palace that are inaccessible to other visitors.




The tours were to begin at 9:00 am, but we were running a little behind schedule. I remember sitting on the train from Paris to Versailles and staring at my watch, silently sweating despite the chilly morning air. We weren't going to make it. We'd never get there in time. When the train finally stopped at the station we sprinted off for the palace. I will forever remember the morning that we ran halfway across the town so that we would not miss a tour of Versailles. Mr. C was running behind me laughing, "We'll make it! We'll make it!" Turns out we burned off those buttery morning croissant calories for nothing! The main palace gates didn't even open until 9:00 am and the tours started 30 minutes afterwards. We made it in time after all!

The tour began and as I was floating through the glowing, gilded rooms of the private apartments, I knew it was an awesome day. Maybe the best day ever. Surrounded by history, touring the palace with my very best friend beside me--it was absolute heaven. It was also a beautiful, uncharacteristically warm day, the nicest weather we'd seen all week. We even had the rare opportunity of seeing the royal opera which is often closed for performances. Everything was perfect.

After the tour I wanted to view the rest of the palace, but it was packed with tour groups who arrived via bus in droves for a quick morning visit. Instead we decided we would visit the Petit Trianon and the Queen's Hamlet before the crowds shifted out into the gardens.



On our way to the Petit Trianon, out in the parterre near the Fountain of Latona, I noticed a young couple trying to take a "long arm" picture of themselves and I offered to take the photo for them. Mr. C then asked if they wouldn't mind taking a picture for us. Actually he said, "Could you take a couple of pictures?" I passed my point-and-shoot camera over and moved into position beside Mr. C. Suddenly he got down on one knee and pulled a ring box from his pocket. I froze. Everything suddenly felt like it was moving in slow motion. I keep thinking, is this really happening? I mean, I knew it could happen, I thought it might, but it really was happening. Mr. C opened the box and inside was a gorgeous antique ring, so delicate, sparkling like mad in the morning sunlight. I can't really remember what he said, I was too shocked. The girl with my camera was snapping away, a crowd of French school children were cheering.  Everything was very surreal. We were at Versailles and it was the most perfect day and the man I loved was on one knee with a delicate, elfin antique ring presented before me. I said yes.





Then it was suddenly very awkward. What had just happened? There's a sort of strange, quiet moment afterwards where the enormity of the moment begins to seep into your consciousness. We embraced, he slipped the ring on my finger. I thanked our makeshift photographer profusely (she even took a bit of video, with zero prompting from us!)

We spent the next 20 minutes walking through the gardens leading to the Petit Trianon. I was still in a daze. I couldn't believe what had just happened and I couldn't keep my eyes off my gorgeous new ring! Finally I got my senses together and we rented bikes and rode around the gardens, visited Marie Antoinette's hamlet and the Petit Trianon. It was my first time visiting the Queen's Hamlet (it was closed the first time I was at Versailles), so being there was exhilarating. I've already shared my intense love for the Queen's Hamlet in a wedding inspiration post, but I have to reiterate what a special and magical place it is. Please visit it if you are ever at Versailles! We also rode the bikes around the entire canal. It took us a good 30 minutes or more, but it was one of my favorite parts of the day.


Before I knew it, it was already 2 o'clock and we had yet to eat lunch! Luckily we were able to grab a table at a restaurant located on the grounds of the palace. We sat outside near the waters of the canal. It was just another puzzle piece in our perfect day!




To spend such a magical day in Paris, at Versailles with the love of my life, and to get engaged in a place with so much history -- I really have no words for it. I was 100% happy and content through and through. I couldn't have asked for a better day. It's now filed away into my extremely happy, peaceful memories which I draw strength and happiness from when times are bad. Which is silly because life is actually really, really amazing.

And that was my best day ever.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Getting Married at 30

I will be 30 years old when I get married. I realize that I'm considered an "older" bride, statistically speaking. According to US census data, most American women get married at around 25 or 26 years old. I'm also one of the "older" blogger Bees, although there have been a few 30-somethings here in the past (Mrs. CauldronMrs. Mink, Mrs. Snapdragon, to name a few).

Recently, you may have read awesome entries from both Miss Bat and Miss Otter on getting married young. But this one is for the "older" brides and the "older" single or not-yet-engaged ladies. Yes, I see you not-yet-engaged ladies who are lurking around Wedding Bee! No shame! I was in your shoes one year ago.

I am one of the last of my friends to get married. When I scroll through the class of '01 on Facebook I see a lot of married people and I see a lot of babies. Some of my classmates and friends are now on their second or third child! And here I am, puttering around with just an engagement ring. No mortgage or car payment to speak of, chillin' on some furniture from Target and Ikea. Do I feel behind the times? No, I don't. The idea of having children still terrifies me. I have no idea where I want to buy a home and invest in a future. Luckily, Mr. Camel feels the same way. Mr. C, who will be 36 on our wedding day, has obviously seen his friends and relatives married off and having children for years now. He often tells me that after 30, he resigned himself to a life alone. He didn't think he would ever get married and certainly not to someone he could be 100% himself around. And then along came me. Now here we are, ready to take that first big step: marriage. Marriage at 30.



Even if I was given the opportunity, there is nothing I would change about my past. I feel that everything, both the good and the bad, has happened for a reason and happened at the right time for me. As much as I would have loved to know a younger Mr. C, to have have shared in those crazy, lazy days of high school and college together, I know that we met and fell in love at exactly the right time in our lives.

I consider myself to be fiercely independent. I experienced my 20's at full throttle. I biked across France alone when I was 20 years old. I traveled across Europe, explored the life of T.E. Lawrence in England, and spent two years teaching English in a tiny Japanese town of 4,000 people. Could I have done all of these things with the love of my life by my side? Absolutely! But for me, my 20's was about reaching out to life's experiences on my own. Meeting people, going places, and finding myself along the way. There were failed relationships. There were a few regrets here and there. But for me it was never about partying or casual dating.


Relationships are about compromise. As a 20-something I was able to live my life and make decisions based on what was best for me and me alone. I realize that sounds incredibly selfish, and it is. But it was also liberating and empowering. It enabled me to move to Japan, attend graduate school, teach English in Italy for a few weeks in a study abroad program, and find a job in a town where I wanted to live and work. Yes, you can do all of those things and more while married, but those plans and decisions can become much more problematic when two people are involved. I never had to plan my life or my decisions around the man in my life. I spent over two years living on my own, doing my own thing, growing comfortable with the silence of my own thoughts. In fact, that was the hardest thing to give up when Mr. C and I decided to move in together. We live in a small two bedroom apartment and every now and again I find myself pining for my tiny Japanese flat (even without central heating and air!) or the place I lived when I first started dating Mr. C. I miss the quiet. I miss that feeling of being utterly alone in your own space.

As a disclaimer, I haven't always felt so comfortable about getting married later in life.  I kept a blog in my early 20's and there are many entries where I sigh and wring my hands about being unable to share so many of life's moments with the person I love. Ten years ago, at the age of 20, I wrote a an entry entitled "To the Person I Haven't Met Yet." Here's how it ended: Youth fades so quickly, and I feel that time is running out. Every day without you seems a waste of energy and beauty. I don't have all day, and there's so much I have to tell you, and so much I want to show you. I have looked and looked, and I still can't find you. So you win. You can come out now.

Oh dear, sweet 20-year-old Miss Camel. You are so intense with all of your emotions swimming just under your papery skin. You will lead a life that the wide-eyed teenager you once were would be intensely proud of. And you do find that guy, and guess what? He wasn't in Rome or Tokyo or Manchester. He was next door. He was next door just waiting for you to finish your journey. He was there waiting to capture your wildly expanding heart. And when you meet him you will have so much to show him. Even now you aren't done sharing stories and there's no end to the places you want to take him. You will have a lot to talk about because your stories only got better. At 20, Miss Camel, you were barely out the door.

At 30, I am ready to take the next step with the man I love by my side. I'm ready to start a new journey, but it's not just me and my old shoes anymore. There will be lots of compromising and it won't always be easy. There will be times when I miss doing things on my own, but at the end of the day, having Mr. C in my life is absolutely worth it. Now we're an unstoppable team.

If you are in your late 20's or 30's and you still haven't met that special someone, don't get yourself down. Or maybe, like me, you are with someone who makes you feel doubtful or uncertain about your future together. You are waiting for the next step, but not sure that it's the right thing to do. Let it go. Enjoy your independence. Enjoy being utterly, completely yourself on your own. You have a whole life to meet someone and a whole marriage of compromising waiting for you. I realize that at this age many women feel their biological clocks ticking away, but watching the clock won't stop time. Get out there and live your life, do the things you enjoy doing, and know that somewhere along the way you will meet the right person. And when you do, think of all the amazing stories you will have to share.


We shall never cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time

Excerpt from "The Wasteland" by T.S. Eliot